“4 Most Man-Repelling Things You Need to Stop Doing Now”
Despite this notion we have of dating being easy, which we mostly have rom-coms to blame for, the dating world is a baffling maze, a battlefield. We might do everything in our powers to attract someone, and still end up empty-handed. True, sometimes you can do everything right and not get the guy simply because the chemistry is off and he’s just not that into you. More often than not, however, it is the little (or big) things we do that end up chasing away someone who was initially quite interested. In order to help you get your dating mojo back, and become a flame that your crush will be drawn to like a moth, here are some helpful tips on what not to do. Spoiler alert: dumbing down so someone would like you is definitely not on the list. This is about increasing your value, not the opposite, so let’s dive in. Take a look at 4 Mistakes Women do that Make Men Run Away from them.
#1.Opening the Ex-file
This is a rookie mistake, one that should never be made be neither men nor women. This type of talk is counterproductive for at least three reasons. The first one – if you mention your ex or even worse, go into an entire monologue about the history of your failed relationship, your date will definitely think that you are not over your former partner, and will, in turn, call it quits when it comes to dating you. The second impression he might get (especially if you bash on your ex) is that you’re a bitter person who can’t let go, and he will end up wondering whether you would bash him if things don’t work out. Thirdly, if you accidentally gush about your ex by telling a great anecdote, it will have an emasculating effect; the guy across from you will get the impression that he will never measure up to the ex, and the result is a guy you never hear from again.
#2.Focus on Me
Second only to opening the ex-file is arrogance. While there is absolutely nothing, (not even great looks), more attractive than confidence, there is a fine line between exuding confidence and being full of yourself. Sure, you can mention your accomplishments, but talking about the ‘mighty wonderfulness that is you’ is a definite no-no. This type of behavior is not only one of the biggest dating mistakes but life mistakes as well. Nobody likes a show-off, not your friends, co-workers, and especially not your prospective love interest. Nobody likes a diva. Still, being negative and always seeing the glass as half-empty can be equally unattractive. We all have struggles, but there isn’t a person in this world who wants to be weighed down by someone’s negative energy.
#3.Where is this All Going?
Previous generations were very fond of labels, and in the old days, people always wanted to know whether they were ‘going steady’. Today, the era of labels is slowly ending, and people are not dating, they are ‘hanging out’. However, the right kind of behavior is to be found in the golden middle. You should definitely put a label on your relationship, but all in good time. If you ask your date to define the relationship on the third date – there might not be a fourth one. Take the time to connect with the person, be in the moment and the label will place itself naturally if things between you two progress. Don’t be needy and obsessive about labels. This can scare a man away, having him think that you will ask whether he wants to marry you by the tenth date, or even worse; make him believe that you are more interested in the label than the person.
#4.Decreasing His Value
The foundation of every healthy relationship is mutual support. You want to increase your value, but not at the expense of someone else’s. Putting people down is one of the most negative traits you can exhibit, and men are particularly sensitive when it comes to messing with their ego. This doesn’t mean that you should bend over backwards to stroke his ego, but still, if you are interested in him, why put him down instead of highlighting his virtues? If you are so focused on his flaws, then there’s no reason to date him at all. Making someone else feel like an underachiever and a loser will not make you look good. Instead, the result is a wounded man who you’ll never see again.
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