Some friends become a part of your family, they help making your life more meaningful. Friends are just one call away; they are always there to support you during your social and emotional phase. They’ll ease your feeling of loneliness, and make you feel happier and more satisfied with life. Talking to your friend is sometimes all the therapy you need. Some friendships last for lifetime, some for few years and some just don’t work. Friendships have positive and negative effect. Maintaining social connections in life is really helpful sometimes as it helps to lower your mental risk and physical concerns which includes high blood pressure and depression. Sometimes friends are really important to you and sometimes people really trust blindfolded considering them as best friends. Friends are allowed to make mistakes, but not always. You can’t repeatedly ignore the same mistakes so sometimes you have to make boundaries and what is wrong and right. Many times friendship becomes toxic and they drain you mentally instead off boosting you and motivating to grow you. How to Recognize a Toxic Friend
How to recognize a toxic friend
A toxic friend will make you feel bad about yourself, will make you feel exhausted and bring frustration instead of bringing comfort and peace. They will try to control your life, demand your attention, act jealous will bring you down and keep complaining. Always start noticing the red flags and signs you will then understand is your friend toxic or not. It should always be about growing together and supporting and being there for each other you should always have a healthy friendship instead of a toxic one. There are some parts of the friendships which are toxic and will make you feel like crap. No one likes to lose friendship, so when you feel your friend is being toxic try to explain and talk things out. Everyone deserves a second chance so always try to sort out things first rather than directly cutting it off. You are not deserved to be treated badly even if it’s your best friend, when you start feeling like it is not the best thing for you, chances are that you’re in a toxic friendship. How to recognize your toxic friendship and all red flags in more detail below:
#1. Always notice how they treat you:
1. Passing Judgmental Comments:
Look out for all the judgment comments your friend passes when you fail at something, if your friend makes you feel more worse about it or judge and talk to you rudely instead off motivating and push you to do better. Having a friend pass judgmental comments and dragging you down or criticizing you is very painful. Your friends should always support you. Help you to do better and accept you the way you are without changing you.
2. Celebrating Small Achievements:
Friends are meant to celebrate all the achievement in life and also help you deal with the failures strongly. Always try to look out if your friend is jealous about you or competing with you trying to be a step ahead of you always. Always be aware of your friends trying to pull you down in front of others just to look good.
3. Never Cross Boundaries:
Always try to make them understand or talk to them whenever they cross their boundaries. You will always like to be there with your friend all the time and with every good or bad situation, but having boundaries is important. Try and notice if your friend is avoiding your wants and needs and doing things in their own way is toxic too. Always look out if your friend is trying to get you into any wrong habit and if yes try to make them understand what you want to do and what not.
4. Hanging Out with Friends:
Going out with your friends will make you understand on how that affects your mood. Keep tracking your mood on how you feel around them. Friends are supposed to make up or lighten up your mood but if they make you annoyed, stressed, or sad then they are toxic for you. Always keep an eye on how your friend talks to, does your friend keep gossiping about everyone here and there or are they trustworthy. A toxic friend would let you down by not keeping your secret to them and spreading them. Also notice if they keep their promises or not, loyal to you or not. Is your friend is talking bad behind your back or lying to you about things.
5. Healthy Friendship
You should have a healthy friendship between each other. Notice if you are being yourself or change when you are around your friend and if you change around them then that’s not friendship. Look if your friend is taking advantage of you or being mean to you, then they are toxic for you. You do things accordingly what your friend likes and try not to tell things that make your friend sad. So you are basically controlled and manipulated by them indirectly which is also toxic.
#2. Identifying your Friend’s Self- Centered Habits:
1. Efforts from Both the Sides:
You should never feel like you are doing all the work and your friend is not helping you just using you all the time. You deserve a friend who takes out time for you no matter what. Your friend should not make you feel guilty or keep telling that you should message or call first; they might even get sad if you don’t put in efforts as per them. To initiate plans, conversations calls everything should be from both the sides. You both should equally put in efforts, and if you are the only one putting in efforts then it will get toxic.
2. Are they Creating Problem:
Try and notice if you are always talking about your friend. Notice if you come up with certain problem, and you need the support and advice if he helps during your problems well and good. But if your friend doesn’t help you in your problems, then that’s your toxic friend. If it’s a toxic friend, your friend will always keep talking about themselves, cut you when you are talking something.
3. Giving Stress:
Trying to be always there for your friend and your friend never being there feels exhausted and sad. Always watch out on how often do they help you and how do you go beyond to help your friend. Toxic friends often play victim card so that people feel sorry for them, when they tell you personal stories, and complain about people hurting them. Being around them will make you feel exhausted.
4. Self Centered:
Pay attention to how they act around your other friends. Its normal to have multiple friends but if your friend tries to hurt you or gets jealous of your other friend, that’s your toxic friend. They’ll tell you to make choice between your other friends and them. Create fight and ruin all your plans. They’ll get sad if you make plan with other friends and not them.
5. Creating Drama:
A toxic friend will always create drama in your life. Fights and create more problems in your life with other people. Try to make them understand once twice and if they still continue with all the drama then tell them that you need space to focus on your life.
How to Deal with a Toxic Friendship:
Sometimes while you try to make your friend understand on how to not treat you as it hurts you, you may come to know that your friend really didn’t realize it would hurt you, so talking to them will improve your friendship. Set some boundaries with your friends to protect yourself, share your expectations to let them know how to treat you. Its okay if you want to give them second chance, but isn’t always the best idea. If they don’t understand than take space for yourself and let them go. Don’t tell your toxic friends anything about your personal things until they change themselves. Someone who is toxic for you may not keep your personal information to themselves they may use it against you.
Instead of what your friends needs or want go for what you feel like doing. Point our thins which seems inappropriate as and when your friend does wrong so that those things doesn’t keep increasing. Start spending less time with them if the behavior continues, you may really feel hurt to cut-loose a friend but you have to do it as it is best for you. Keep yourself busy with other things it will help you focus on your life.